Let’s get in the Halloween spirit with a spooky tale of a presentation that would gross out even Freddy Krueger.
The conference speaker in question scared the wits out of everyone in her audience when she took a restroom break, resulting the dreaded “oops” moment, Yup, she forgot to turn off her microphone.
The Parade to the Porcelain Palace
Actor Leslie Nielsen made this bit of bathroom humor famous in one of his “Naked Gun” films. I had the misfortune to observe it in real life. It took place at a discussion led by a speaker wearing a wireless lapel microphone. At one point, she doled out an assignment for a group exercise, asking us to discuss at our tables. She then exited the room.
Aside from the obvious, leaving the room was her first mistake. If you, as a speaker, need a restroom break, your listeners probably do, too. Why not give everyone a chance to stretch their legs and attend to personal business.
We were privy to her hallway conversations with colleagues during her lope to the latrine. She came in loud and clear thanks to her wireless microphone. Next came muffled footsteps on the carpeted floor. Uneasy glances started filtering through the room when many of us suspected where she was headed. We were then treated to the sound of a door swinging open, followed by the clickety-clack of heels on tiled floor. Next came the inevitable click of a bathroom stall latch being thrown. Fortunately, by that time a female audience member had raced to the women’s room to warn our “expert” about her bathroom broadcast. The microphone went dead (as the chuckles and sighs of relief cascaded throughout the audience), and we were thankfully spared a flatulence festival.
Staining a Reputation
While not an organizational crisis of severe magnitude, this type of misadventure can damage an individual’s reputation. To this day, whenever I picture this woman’s face, I think not of her topic or her expertise, but of her restroom recklessness.
She did two things that made it even scarier for herself. First, at the beginning of her remarks the offending bathroom breaker made a big deal about her vast experience as a speaker. Other people can say nice things about you all day. A little modesty is in order, however, when tooting your own horn. You can imagine her image of expertise was cast to the wind after her trot to the toilet was heard by all.
Second, she re-entered the room and mentioned not a word about her commode caper. Mysterious looks were the order of the day when she returned as everybody wondered how she would deal with the elephant in the room. She never even tried. No, not once did she ever acknowledge her snafu. If an unforeseen event casts an obvious cloud over the proceedings, you need to deal with it. An apology or a bit of bathroom humor (the clean kind) would have helped.
Restroom Recommendations
Let’s hope you never experience such an audible and startling restroom respite. But somewhere, sometime something is going to wrong if you deliver presentations on a regular basis. What to do when the detritus hits the fan?
- When you make a mistake, own up to it—even in a non-life threatening, cheeky episode like this. A quick acknowledgement accompanied by a self-deprecating bon mot would have helped clear the air. As it stood, however, a cloud hung over the room for the rest of the session.
- If you are on stage wearing a wireless microphone, be sure to remove it before tending to any bodily functions (and remember that all your conversational asides are also fully audible while you are miced).
- Audience members could not have been blamed for exiting. To avoid giving them reason to do so, contact me for the tip sheet “Top 10 Reasons Audiences Head for the Hills.”
If you’ve had similar scary experiences in the world of public speaking—lavatory-linked or not—feel free to share. Happy Halloween.
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